It’s Constitution Week, commemorating the 231st anniversary of the signing of the United States Constitution! Are you excited about it?
Well, you shouldn’t be. In fact, here are five good reasons* why you shouldn’t bother to study the Constitution with your children.
1. The writing style is unreadable. “We the People of the United States, in order to form a more perfect union, establish justice, insure domestic tranquility . . .” So many words. It’s just not the kind of thing that people would memorize and quote, right? Also, it could benefit from some emojis sprinkled in for added interest.
2. The concepts require a strong grasp of history to understand. They’re good ideas, sure, but it would be so much easier if it were written in short, punchy sentences. “We the people want freedom.” See? None of the tedious discussion about why the people want freedom and what that freedom looks like.
3. The whole “We the People” thing is a problem. Anyone reading it—assuming they can make it all the way through—will come away with the idea that the people should shape their own government, instead of just submitting to whoever is in power. That’s really inconvenient for a government that wants to exercise unchallenged control over its people.
4. The Constitution gives a surprising bulk of the power to the people. It lays out checks and balances, specific duties of each branch of government, and outlines what a government can’t do. Again, that makes it really burdensome for a government to do whatever it wants to.
5. The concept of “amendments” is unsafe. Allowing people to change what’s already written undermines a government’s authority to decide for them. Think about it—what could possibly be so important later that it would require people to amend the law of the land?
Bonus: The “United States of America” as the name of the country. It’s as if the writers of the Constitution wanted to emphasize the fact that the new country wasn’t one solid bloc under a single all-powerful entity. It was as if they recognized value in a country made up of many different ethnicities, religions, personalities, and beliefs all joined together under a common banner.
So there you go—5 good reasons why you should just skip Constitution Week and not bother teaching the Constitution to your kids. Unless, of course, you think that it was a good idea to limit governmental authority and empower the people. In which case . . . well, I guess you’ve got 231 years of history to celebrate, so you’d best get on it.
*Disclaimer: If you haven’t already guessed, this article is satire and simply meant to make you laugh. Please take everything I say with at least a couple very large grains of salt.
Editor’s note: Looking for materials to help you teach the Constitution to your kids? Now through September 23rd, get 35% off Constitution materials in HSLDA’s online store! Go here to learn more.
Photo Credit: Mark Thoburn.