Two Truths and a Lie

Two Truths and a Lie | HSLDA Blog

When my first child was only three months old, a seasoned homeschool mom outright lied to me.

Now, all my mothering life, I’ve been extremely fortunate to have many veteran homeschool moms to talk to (including my own mother).  I watched how different families operated, and got the glimmering of the idea that mine didn’t have to conform to a certain ideal. I found out that some families laughed at the idea of getting up at 6a.m. if they didn’t have to. Some families faithfully cleaned the living areas and bathrooms, but let the bedrooms sit in a state of nuclear fallout. One mom required her children to eat one vegetable at supper…like, one green bean…and didn’t stress beyond that.

Seeing these families’ priorities (and un-priorities) shaped how I approached my own future. Even with only one baby, I was already forming my ideas of what my homeschool would look like.

One afternoon as I nursed my daughter, I chatted with a mom who had already graduated a couple of kids and had several to go. She talked enthusiastically about her homeschooling journey.

I said, “I’m looking forward to it. I know we’ll have our rough times, but…”

“Oh, we didn’t,” she said. “That whole thing where the mom falls apart and the kids hate school…our homeschool didn’t go like that. We never had days like that.”

And without wanting to hurl allegations and besmirch anyone’s good name…I call out that woman as a liar.

I’m not quite as far along in my homeschooling journey as she was, but I’ve got some years to my name now. So let me give you the truth—the truth that pretty much any homeschooling family already knows:

 You will have bad days.

As long as you’re educating real kids, it’s not always going to go well. (Heck, you’d probably have bad days even if you were educating androids; I guarantee the operating system would crash right before handwriting class.) More than any other educational option, homeschooling entwines with daily life. That means sometimes it gets boring, or kids get fractious, or parents just get tired.

When we hit a bad day, we muddle through it and hope that the next day will be better. It usually is. A few years ago, however, I hit a stretch of several weeks that every single day was bad for me. I woke up every morning already defeated. Eventually, Darren and I realized that this wasn’t right. Drawing on the example of all those families we knew, we figured out where we needed to change so that our homeschool best suited our kids and me.

As a result of that experience, here’s another seasoned homeschool mom truth:

 You should have a lot of good days.

If school is a consistently joyless grind, that’s the time to talk to experienced friends and figure out what you can change. Maybe it’s as simple as settling for not-clean bedrooms and children who don’t like vegetables. Maybe it calls for a more comprehensive overhaul, like when Darren and I divided the planning and teaching between us.

Homeschooling isn’t all good times. You’ll take a few falls over the years. But it’s also very rewarding, and you’ll be able to look back on many wonderful moments as the years go on.

And that’s no lie.

-Sara

Photo Credit: Graphic design by Charity Klicka.

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5 Comments on “Two Truths and a Lie”

  1. Lori Schuler
    June 14, 2016 at 11:18 am #

    How do I go about asking permission to use this article? My friend and I are doing a workshop for people thinking about homeschooling and would love to pass this out to them.

    Like

  2. Lori Schuler
    June 14, 2016 at 11:19 am #

    Love the article and so true!!

    Like

  3. N. K. Dover
    June 14, 2016 at 11:48 am #

    The plain fact is…we humans of every age….do not always want to do what we should. yup. Its true. Sometimes, when we know that the kitchen is an unholy mess but we need to sit down with a child(ren) and go over schoolwork with them, and THEN we need to create order from the chaos that is our kitchen, while our child is moaning “I HATE math”….and we have put off going to the bathroom almost too long; we are tempted to close that bathroom door and not open it. Until they are 18. We may even close that door and affirm loudly that we have changed our name. We are no longer “Mom” . From now on, our name is Hermoine. And when the child(ren) sticks fingers under the door and wiggles them while plaintively saying “mooooooooooooooooooom I’m hungry” it is tempting to say “no Mom in here…only me…Hermoine”). I’m not saying that I ever did that (but IF I did, I plead the fifth). So…as long as real people are involved–it will not always be pretty. But, if you are faithful, keep on doing your best, pull up your big girl panties, sigh and admit that you are Mom, and listen. Really listen and pay attention. There will be those Ka-ching moments (you can never plan for them–so listen hard!) that warm you right down to your toes and make you know that what you are doing is right for you and your children. And it is worth it. It truly is. It isn’t perfect–but its GOOOOOOOD.

    Like

  4. Sue Rhineheimer
    June 14, 2016 at 2:34 pm #

    An outright lie? Wow, that is a harsh thing to say on public media. “And without wanting to hurl allegations and besmirch anyone’s good name”…But you did that exactly…you hurled accusations and besmirched her name. Maybe she didn’t see those bad days as bad days…but just rolled with the punches knowing that each day is new and different and did not think to define the day as “bad.” After homeschooling for 15 years I don’t remember any “bad” days; each day had its challenges, but I didn’t define any day as being “bad” either. Attitude and expectations can sum up the way we respond to situations. I think I like that lady!

    Like

    • SJ
      June 25, 2016 at 4:48 pm #

      I didn’t actually besmirch her name, considering that nobody knows who I’m taking about — myself included; I don’t remember much about her (name included). You give a good explanation for what she *could have* meant, but that’s not what she said. However, I agree with your conclusion — roll with the punches as don’t let a bad day defeat you. That’s what I’ll tell young moms about homeschooling.

      Like

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