Congratulations! You are now the proud parent of an adorable bundle of fur. But with this new addition to your family comes several hard questions: How will I train my pet? What’s to ensure he’ll be safe if I leave the house? We’ve heard your questions, and we’re proud to announce that we’re introducing a brand new product for pet owners everywhere: HSLDA Pets. What does HSLDA Pets have to offer?
Legal Protection 24/7
Our members will have the peace of mind knowing that their rights as a pet owner will be secured no matter what. Whether you pull your dog from training class because of the class bulldog, or you get reported for walking your pet in the park, we have attorneys on-call to make sure the pound knows your legal rights as a pet owner.
Please note: If Mike Farris is your contact attorney, legal protection will only extend to dogs. Cats and snakes are strictly off-limits. Consider moving to a neighboring state for a different contact attorney.
Some of the best and brightest minds have put together training manuals that you can specifically tailor for your individual pet rather than giving them the cookie-cutter approach, all at an affordable price. No guarantees that anything will work for cats.
Defense against Discrimination
We share the latest news related to your state on pets we’ve helped facing discrimination. Whether you have a service dog that needs to get on the bus with you, or you’ve adopted a military vet (VETERAN…not VETERINARIAN), we’ll make sure your pets get equal treatment wherever they go (not that kind of “go”…you’re on your own there).
International Protection for Exotic Pets
Parrots, certain snake breeds (you know, since we’re lawyers), and other (legally!!!!) owned exotic animals may not be getting the protection they deserve in their home country, but HSLDA is extending its efforts to make sure these pets’ rights are safe both here and abroad.
We’re expanding our PerX program to expand discounts to very good dogs. These include hotel chains that allow pets, coupons for pet food, grooming, and adorable outfits with bowties.
High School Consultants
However, most pets don’t live to be high school age.
(Disclaimer: This is an April Fools’ Day joke, but you can always join HSLDA to ensure that your homeschooling rights are protected by clicking the link above.)